Gongey’s BlogDescribing the Indescribable World of The Gongey

All things Gongey

A Gongey is a special being. Having been created in the fiery furnaces of hell...wait...let me start over.
Back when collars were huge and pants were in the shape of bells I was born. The year was 1977. After 10 long months of gestation I was ready to join the world and make my contribution.
This blog is a record of my life. Good, bad and generally mundane!
by
Brian Christmas
 


Materials and Tools

Office Bow of Death parts

Parts needed

Parts:

  • 4 Wooden Rulers
  • Box of PaperMate Pens
  • Bag of 84 size Rubber Bands(Office Max Brand)
  • Strapping Tape
  • Small length of Cat5 cable
  • Optional for arrow head – Paperclip, razors, penny

tools

Tools needed

Tools:

  • One Leatherman Juice
  • One Pair of scissors
  • One Candle (for heating plastic)
  • One Lighter (to light the candle…duh!)

 

Construction

Office Bow of Death fully assembled

Office Bow of Death fully assembled

Office Bow :
Fully Assembled

Bow(of “Death”) Assembly

Step 1 – Put 2 rulers back to back and tape them
together. This is done to increase their strength. Repeat for the other 2
rulers. **If your rulers have holes be sure to line up the holes.

Step 2 – Now over lap the 2 taped rulers slightly and
angle them back so it creates a very wide “V”. Like illustrated in the
picture below. **If your ruler has holes be sure to put the holes at the
opposite ends of where you are taping.

bow-1

Taped bow

Step 3 – Get that strapping tape out and start taping.
**Make sure you pull the strapping tape VERY tight each turn around the
rulers. If you fail to get it tight enough the bow won’t work.

 

Stringing the Bow(of “Death”)

Step 1 – Hopefully your rulers have holes. If they do
then go to Step 2, other wise you will have to slowly drill holes with
your pocket knife. Drill them around 1/2 inch in from the end of the
rulers.

Step 2 – Take 2 rubber bands and cut them so they are long strands. As shown below.

Rubber bands

Rubber bands

Step 3 – Once they are cut stretch them out a bit to
loosen them up. Once they are loose, lay one on top of the other(I will
call this the “string”). Now cut off a 2 inch piece of Cat5 wire(just 1
single strand)*Illustrated as “A” in the picture below. Push one end of
the “string” thru one of the holes in the end of the ruler.

Step 4 – Now with your “string” pushed thru the hole you
need to twist it around itself once. Then, using the Cat5 strand,
tightly wrap the twisted end of “string”, as shown in the picture below
as “B”. Repeat this for the other end. You now have a working bow.

Optional – You can adjust the tension on the bow by
pulling extra string thru the ruler holes. Just be sure you taped your
bow REALLY well.

Bow string assembly

Bow string assembly

OPTIONAL – Play around with the number and variation of rubber bands. You can make a VERY powerful bow. Trust me! 😉

Modified bow string

Modified bow string

Building the arrows(of “Death”).

Step 1 – You will need 4 pens to make 1 arrow. Take 3
pens and pull the ink/ballpoint part out of them. You will have 3 hollow
sections.

Pens

Pens

Step 2 – Cut about 1/4 inch off the end of the 4th pen(which still has the ink/ballpoint in it)*As illustrated below:

Pens disassembled

Pens disassembled

Step 3 – Once you have the 4 sections, place them end to
end. As shown below. Once you have them in the order as shown in picture
“A”, push them together as shown in picture “B”

“A”

Connect pens

Connect pens

“B”

Using heat attach pens

Using heat attach pens

Step 4 – Make sure you have them securely pushed together. Now you need to straighten the “shaft” of the arrow.

Make sure the shaft is straight

Make sure the shaft is straight

Step 5 – Now that the “shaft” is straight, place strapping tape along the arrow. This will strengthen the arrow for “combat”.

Tape shaft together

Tape shaft together

Step 6 – Time for the fletching. Get a 1 1/2 inch peice
of strapping tape and double it over the back end of the arrow. As show
below:

Basic tape fletching

Basic tape fletching

Step 7 – Trim the tape/fletching so that it looks like a real arrows feathers.

Cut fletching

Cut fletching

Now you have a functional arrow.

Completed fletching

Completed fletching

OPTIONAL – Get creative in the design of you arrow heads. You can use just the pen arrow head or go crazy:

Note: the round “blunt” tip is a penny. It HURTS! Plus you get cool round bruises. 🙂

Different arrow designs

Different arrow designs

The “Piece de Resistance”

Our office has these hobby razors to cut out signs and what not. I decided to use them as the “Ultimate” arrow.

Broadhead design

Broadhead design

Closer view broadhead

Closer view broadhead

 


 

Operation

Place the arrow on the string of the bow. Resting the arrow on the hand gripping the bow.

Pinching the arrow and the string
pull back to create tension on the arrow.

Release. Now get out and unleash “OFFICE PUNISHMENT” on thine enemies!!!

Impact Test

Subject: Very thick cardboard.

Results: Arrow “massively” penetrated both sides!

Watch the Video!

 

Penetrating thick cardboard

Penetrating thick cardboard

Note**: This information is provided as “Educational Knowledge”.

This weapon can actually penetrate flesh, muscle and eyeballs.

I am not responsible for the mis-use of this knowledge.

Feel comfortable in the knowledge that you RULE your office domain.

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